When two parents can have a cooperative relationship with each other, children tend to grow up happier and well-adjusted - even with their parents divorcing and living apart. Even still, it is still realistic to expect some period of adjustment early on.
Want to Help Your Children Deal With Divorce? Consider Therapy.
Some children go through divorce with relatively few problems, while others have a very difficult time. It's normal for kids to feel a range of difficult emotions, but if problems linger past a few months, you may need to seek professional help. During times like these, consider working with your spouse, not necessarily in the roles of husband and wife, but as two parents working in the spirit of a co-parenting relationship and seeking the best for your children.
What Experts Tell Us About Helping Children of Divorce
Raising a child with an uncooperative former spouse can be a challenge, but when you put your child's needs first, it gets easier. Consider these tips when it comes to putting your children's needs first:
- Pick your battles with the "other parent." It doesn't really matter if your child wears his coat, takes a bath tonight or tomorrow night, or even if your child's other parent returns their nice outfit this week or the next. It may be more to your benefit to just detour and take care of it another way.
- Accept the fact that all parents, whether they're in an intact or divorced family, have disagreements because of varying parenting styles. One parent thinks television, Xbox, and video games rot children's brains; the other feels as if it gives them time to relax, unwind, and entertains. One parent is insistent that the child stays away from processed sugars, and the other parent is on a first-name basis with the crew at Friendly's, McDonalds, and Papa Gino's.
- Let go of the past. Once you and your former spouse are divorced, you could spend your entire life trying to figure out whether your former spouse was a jerk before you married, or turned into one while you were married. But why waste the time? Let it go. Accept your new life. Live for today; stop getting stuck in yesterday.
Helping Children Process Their Emotions
Certain exercises have proven to be helpful in helping children adjust to their parent's divorce:
Drawing pictures - Many children have difficulty expressing their emotions and putting feelings into words, so drawing pictures is a way for them to express themselves. The artwork helps parents understand what their children are feeling and thinking.
Writing a letter - Writing helps to deal with confusing feelings, and a great way to express emotions. Parents may suggest writing mom or dad a letter telling them how they feel about divorce.
Playing together - Making finger (sock) puppets, and having the puppets "talk" about their feelings has proven to be helpful during stressful and confusing times for children.
The Criteria for Choosing a Child Custody Lawyer
Find the attorney who is experienced and mature enough to have the experience of raising children. The more seasoned attorney is better able to distinguish the important custody issues that will sway a judges' decision more than the less mature attorney.
Worcester Custody Attorney - FREE Consultation
For help with Worcester, Massachusetts issues relating to children adjusting with divorce, call The Massachusetts Family Law Group at (800) 970-LAWYER or e-mail us for a FREE, no-obligation consultation.
